Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
