Whats the glycemic index on semen?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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