Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Randomize
