i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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