Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
