i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
