Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I believe in your delicious
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
