I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Randomize