So drunk its hurt
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Randomize