i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Just pee around me
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You're breaking my sexual little heart
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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