I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
