butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
