My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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