you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
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