I just cut my nipple shaving
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
