It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize