If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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