just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
