I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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