theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize