I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
