I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
