yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
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