My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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