this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
