turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
