Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
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