11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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