When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
A+ Viking dick
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