Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
We are two peas in an std pod
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
