foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
