If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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