you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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