you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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