Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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