I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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