So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Randomize
