I don't think brook has ever known best
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
