literally had 100 drinks last night.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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