I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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