Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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