Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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