Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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