i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
