Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
