Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
