you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I'm both gender and math confused
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
