I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
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