I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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