i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
