Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
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