ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
