we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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