i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Randomize
