The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
