But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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