she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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