You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
