I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
