If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
