So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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