You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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