I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
